This month for the #togetherwemother series we’re talking about “the moment you found out you were going to be a mother.” You can find links to the rest of the bloggers in the series at the bottom of this post.
I remember this day better than any other. Saturday, October 11th. Lock and I finally decided to check out the big farmers market in town. I bought this yummy wine slush mix that we planned to later freeze and enjoy in a bottle of white wine to celebrate the start of hockey season. We had season tickets that year and the 2nd home game was that night. Some of my best memories came from the previous hockey season with my friend Jessica so I was beyond ready! Little did I know, instead of drinking wine or Fireball (how did I ever do that?) at the games, I was going to be drinking water. Lots and lots of water.
On our way home from the market I was feeling unusually nauseous. I had already been having tremendously sore boobs that seemed to just get worse with time. And as shocking as all of this was (I was on birth control after all), deep down I sort of always had a feeling. I wasn’t late yet but all of the signs were there which meant it was time to take a test. You know the whole “wait two minutes for results” thing? Yeah, if you’re pregnant, that plus sign shows up the second you pee on that damn stick. I remember walking out of the bathroom totally silent. Not knowing what to say! Lock and I met only four months prior and while we were head over heals for each other we definitely weren’t quite planning for a family just yet. Surprisingly though, he was more calm than I was. Don’t get me wrong. Motherhood was always something I wanted. Needed really. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. I think most of my emotions came from being terrified that we weren’t ready or I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. I didn’t know what to expect from all of this! But as soon as I got past those feelings I was more excited than I’ve ever been. Patience was pretty non existent. How was I supposed to wait 36 more weeks to meet my little baby? My pregnancy with H was pretty rough and most days I couldn’t get myself out of bed. So I laid there and talked to him and daydreamed about all of the things we were going to do as a party for three. I couldn’t help but think about what motherhood was going to be like. I knew this was the start of it, my love for my child. But what about all of the not so lovey dovey moments? Would I be able to handle those? What would those things be like? How hard was it really going to get? I know I haven’t even come close to dealing with some of the hardest things we’re going to face as a family, but so far I’ve learned that the love we share with each other can make any bad day a better one.
Tampa Bay went to the Stanley Cup Finals that year and we made just about every game! Even at 28 weeks, when I was randomly passing out, I walked up and down those stairs to our seats because, hockey duh. Everyone in the rows around us always asked when baby would arrive. They all questioned wether we would make it to the next game or not and were surprised when we did! I joked that Hudson would be born at the arena during game 7. Now that, that would have been awesome. Tampa didn’t win that year (the Blackhawks did in game 6, go Hawks!) but we made it to the last home game and Hudson was born on the scheduled game 7 day. Sitting here writing this I think I should have named him after one of the players or something, right?
Motherhood is by far the best thing I’ve ever experienced before. Even on those days where I feel like nothing else could go wrong or Hudson is testing my patience and sanity to THE MAX, I’m still happier than I’ve ever been. I don’t think anything can prepare you for whats to come when you find out that you’re pregnant. And I don’t think you can ever have things just the way you want them before you decide to have kids. I feel like so many of us waste our time trying to perfect our lives so that we are 100% ready to be a parent. But that just isn’t realistic. My maternity instinct kicked in almost right away and while I had never changed a diaper, breastfed, or dealt with a screaming newborn before, I did it and I did it the best that I could. We took it head on and embraced every moment because these are the moments we live for.
Be sure to check out the creative women in the #TogetherWeMother Series by visiting their blogs below:
Sometimes Sweet | Bluebird Kisses | Lucky Penny | Kikhaly
Household Mag. | Above Harrison | Petite Biet
Chrissy Powers | Mom Crush Monday | Bonjour Ava