The #TogetherWeMother series is back and this month we are discussing self love. Be sure to check out the other ladies involved in the series by visiting the links found at the end of this post.
Self love is something I had always struggled with growing up and into early adulthood. I was always comparing myself to others, career and appearance wise, which totally affected my ability to succeed in the ways I wanted to and dreamed of. When you’re constantly hard on yourself and doubting every move you make or every look you get, it’s not only exhausting but very detrimental to your health and you really start to lose yourself. I quit everything I did just as I was getting somewhere and eventually I felt like I had nothing. I wasn’t working a job I loved, or in the career field I wanted to be in, I didn’t feel like I had any sort of purpose, and I wanted more of something but didn’t know what. This made me regret decisions I made like not going to college or moving away from LA & NYC. Decisions I don’t regret at all. I was just overall hard on myself in every aspect of my life as I’m sure most of us are in our early to mid-twenties. When I look back now I could slap myself. There is and was absolutely nothing to complain about. I lived through some pretty awesome experiences but because I was so hard on myself I let those experiences slip right past me and shrugged them off because they weren’t exactly what I wanted. But I wasn’t even sure of what I wanted.
Becoming a parent happened very quick and unexpected for both my husband and I. We weren’t trying to conceive and just met a few months prior. But the moment I found out I was pregnant something changed in me. Maybe it was the hormones (that would make the most sense, right?) or maybe it was because I didn’t have time to be so hard on myself anymore. I honestly have no idea. I do know that I gained a sense of confidence I had never known before. All of a sudden I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled instead of analyzing every flaw I could pick out. All of a sudden I believed in myself and the future that just fell right into my lap. However now there was an entirely new kind of “hard on myself” mantra. Parenting is tough! We are constantly putting everyone else before ourselves and often forget to eat, shower, sleep. We doubt our parenting techniques. Are we raising our children right? Why aren’t they talking yet? Am I doing something wrong? As a parent I want to do everything I can to teach self-love every single day of my children’s lives and the only way to do that is to practice it myself. All eyes are on me and they pick up on every emotion, thought, word etc. Here are just a few things I remind myself of to keep myself on track:
It’s okay to ask for help. I am absolutely horrible at accepting help or asking for it. I want to do everything myself because I want to do it my way. Stubborn, I know! Asking for help though is key when raising children. It cannot be done alone 24/7. Burning myself out throws off my balance which throws off my mood which really throws everything else in life off. It’s okay to ask for help. Don’t deprive yourself of that.
Take a break. I think I really mean, know when to slow down. Obviously there are no breaks in parenting. Even when we’re away from our kids we are constantly thinking of what we can be doing better. But you don’t have to fill every single day with actives in order to be a good parent. You aren’t horrible for sticking your child in front of the TV for 30 minutes or even an entire movie so you can have a moment to yourself instead of taking them outside. You don’t have to do the dishes and laundry during every nap time. Give yourself a break!
Treat yourself. I don’t do this often enough. But treating yourself every once in a while is absolutely necessary. We spend every single hour of every single day putting our child before ourselves. We deserve a moment or two to get out a do something on our own to clear our minds as much as possible and re-charge. Maybe it’s something you enjoyed pre-baby or maybe it’s something you found you loved after. Whatever it is, get out and do it!
Love yourself. Most importantly, love yourself. Stay positive and know that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Be sure to check out the creative women in the #TogetherWeMother Series by visiting their blogs below:
Sometimes Sweet | Lucky Penny | Kikhaly
Household Mag. | Samantha Broderick | Chels and Co. | Petite Biet | Chrissy Powers